Thursday, December 30, 2010

Lingering between two worlds

This is not a dream entry, but a short post about something I experienced last night.

I awoke from a disturbing dream, where my family was in trouble, my friends had neglected me and my body had been covered with stress-related hives. I charted down the dream in my orange notebook next to my pillow so I wouldn't forget it the next morning.

After writing down the dream I tried going back to sleep again, using the counting technique I described in the previous post. After a while I start having a battle with myself. I am counting, but behind the counting lies other thoughts - or at first I think they're just thoughts, but eventually a part of me starts viewing it as a reality or a dream - as if I'm physically experiencing the thoughts. Kind of like I am hallucinating.

On one side I have an "awake" part of myself struggling to keep counting to get myself to fall asleep, and on the other side I have a "dreaming" part of myself walking around in a mall doing some christmas shopping, but my awake part is still keeping me informed that I am just lying in my own bed trying to fall asleep.

I'm being pulled back and forth between these two state of minds and after a while I start to get tired and a little sea-sickish, so I stop counting, open my eyes and just stare at my bedroom wall. I try resuming the counting but the tug of war returns. Frustrated I open my eyes again, take a short break and try to stop the room from spinning. I decide to stop the counting and just try to go to sleep the normal way.

Eventually I do.

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